Monday, April 11, 2016

Accepting yourself just the way you are

Well, hello there, followers! Thanks for hanging in there.
I know it's been a long time since I updated this blog.
Sorry to tell you but this is going to be the last post.
See, this year, I'm going to turn 58.
And during the past year, I've come to the realization that life is wonderful, and each day is a blessing and should be savored as a gift from God.
And frankly, I would just as soon not spend whatever time is left to me ... DIETING.
My weight is what it is. My body size has fluctuated over the decades, but more and more I'm realizing that I have the body that was given to me by my family.
My dad ... my grandma ... back into the mists of time ...
And you know what? My flawed, flab-ulous body has brought me to where I am today.
I honor it! I'm happy to have it!
There are a whole LOT of worse problems to have than just carrying some extra weight.
Just ask anyone who has cancer if they'd like to swap with you for a day.
So I'm going to go outside, sit in the sunshine, eat some fresh mulberries off the tree in the back yard ...
and ENJOY MY LIFE!
And I hope you do the same!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Back for more weight-related torture!

Why, hello there!

So nice of you to keep checking in, on the off chance that I might have updated the blog.

And guess what? Your patience has been rewarded!

It was well worth the wait, wasn't it?

(Er ... well ... maybe!)

Anyway, just to bring us all up to date, not only have I not lost any more weight, I'm up to 221 pounds, which is higher than the 218 I was bitching & moaning about a year and a half ago.

But I'm gonna try something different this time - something I've tried before, but not with a whole lot of enthusiasm.

This time, however, I think I can make it work - because I'm motivated by a great new book: Dana Carpender's "How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet and Lost Forty Pounds!"

The book!
It's really good, and funny, and inspirational. I'm about 2/3rds of the way through it and have been motivated to give the low carb thing the ol' college try one more time.

One thing I like about Dana's approach is that she gives more than one way to go low carb. She prefers the Atkins method (going cold turkey - so to speak!) for at least two weeks - the infamous Induction method) but describes other modified methods that might work better for some people.

And she herself didn't do the Induction method - she just started cutting the carbs out. Easy peasy lemon squeezie!

(Although I'm not sure if lemons are low carb. If not, fine with me, I hate 'em anyway!)
Anyway, bottom line is, I'm back and I'm low carb, baby! Hope you'll stick with me - I'll commit to updating this blog AT LEAST once a week to let you know how (or if) it's working out.

Thanks!!!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Picking up the cross and starting again ...

Appropriately enough for Lent ... after dragging my feet for several months - and after letting this blog almost die - I've rejoined Weight Watchers (Online) and am again counting those wonderful, maddening POINTS! (gotta remember that exclamation point!!).

My motivation, you ask? One word:

SCIATICA.

Yup, I've developed a really life-altering low back pain in my left hip. And although the trigger point for it may have been when I fell off my bike last summer, I'm convinced that it's definitely exacerbated by those 50 pounds I regained, after my exhiliarating adventure with Weight Watchers lo, those many years ago.

I know all the statistics. Diets don't work. 90% of dieters put back whatever weight they've lost after five years. Yo-yo dieting can be worse for you than obesity. Big is beautiful.

I pause at that latter. Yes, Big can be Beautiful. I was Big on my wedding day, just about four years ago. I weighed pretty much what I weighed now. And I was Beautiful - just look:



But listen: I was also active. I worked full-time. I took the Red Line from the Valley to Downtown, and walked for at least half an hour every morning from the subway station to my office.

Now I'm less active. I spend more time at home, or in my car. I have to force myself to go out and exercise. It's no longer a natural part of my day. So the weight I've regained is not the same as the weight I lost before. It's inactivity weight.

And here's the maddening Catch-22 of the whole thing: I need to exercise more, to get the weight off. But because of the weight, my back hurts, and it's really, really hard to exercise.

So: Weight Watchers, again.

I thought about trying something different, something exotic, like the South Beach Diet. Actually, I read the latest incarnation of it and it doesn't sound all that far-fetched. I think the author has made it more sensible, more liveable. That seems to happen with diet plans that stand the test of time (sort of like the major religions, but that's another topic).

So: this morning I had a cup of oatmeal (4 points), a mug of hot tea sweetened with Splenda and non-dairy creamer (0 points) and, after finishing the oatmeal and realizing I was still hungry, a small can of mixed vegetables, heated up in the microwave and spritzed with a generous helping of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray (1 point).

That should hold me till lunch.

I just hope all this won't go by the wayside during Bright Week (the week following Easter, in the Eastern Christian tradition), when we're encouraged to Feast! and Rejoice! because Christ is Risen! I want to rejoice, but I also want to sustain my meager 2-pound weight loss. Can I rejoice on 30 POINTS! a day?

We'll see. Meanwhile, it's a helpful metaphor for me, during Lent, to think of my renewed efforts to lose weight as perhaps the Cross that God has picked out for me. That after every relapse (fall), I must acknowledge my sin and start over again.

Works for me!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I hate to say this but ... Curves works!

214.7 today, baby!!

Four pounds - count 'em, four - lost since my last post!

And what did I do differently, you ask? What great diet did I find?

Er, none. In fact, I've been scarfing chocolates and Christmas-related candies like there's no tomorrow.

BUT - what I DID do differently was - like Allison in this great YouTube video - I went back to Curves!



But not just ANY Curves.

No, being the glutton for punishment and humiliation that I am, I joined the exact SAME Curves that I wrote about so scathingly in a previous incarnation of this blog, way back in 2008!

So what's changed? you wonder.

Well - nothing, really. And everything. But mostly - ME!

When I walked through the doors of Curves Van Nuys two weeks ago and said I wanted to join, I was cringing inside, hoping they wouldn't remember me. So far they haven't.

And conversely, as I started my membership, I saw indications that the things I'd complained about were still happening - primarily the loud chatting and nonstop socializing.

But you know what? I joined with my eyes wide open. I knew those problems would be there.

But I ALSO knew that I need the kind of structured workout that only Curves can provide.

As you know, if you've followed this blog and my previous blog, The Curvy Catholic, I've been trying to "go it alone" since both my beloved downtown Curves, and my friend's gym "It Figures" (which had a similar circuit training workout) closed down two years ago.

I've been walking. And biking. And working out at 24 Hour Fitness.

And don't get me wrong, all those are great! They all contribute to keeping my weight at a manageable level.

BUT - none of them have helped me to re-lose the 50 pounds I re-gained last year! And that's what I really want to do!

See, I know that "big is beautiful" and "fat is fantastic" and all that wonderful self-help jargon. I understand that women have been oppressed because of their weight. I get that. And I agree that fad diets are harmful and that it's OK for a woman to be fat if she feels comfortable that way. And I don't think people should be discriminated against because of their weight.

I get all that.

BUT - I know, for myself, that I just felt better overall when my weight was down to 180. It was just physically easier for me to get around and do the things I enjoy doing.

So - I'm not going to apologize for my size.

But I'm ALSO not going to apologize for wanting my size to be SMALLER!

After all, it's my body and my life!

(OK, enough melodramatic posturing here! Bottom line (so to speak!) is that I rejoined Curves and I'm glad I did - 'cause it's WORKING, baby!)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hmm ...

Wow, sorry about the long absence! I know my many millions of followers must have been on tenterhooks (whatever they are) to know the latest in my personal Battle of the Bulge.

Well, basically, what happened was I kind of gave up - not on the weight loss, but on the blog!

Blogging itself just suddenly seemed so ... well ... cumbersome and tedious. As opposed to, say, Facebook. Which I got all involved in.

And Facebook is fun. But as my husband has repeatedly pointed out (by pulling out tufts of hair and screaming), it's not so easy to find your older posts - there's no "archived posts" feature, as there is on blogs.

And that's important, because our blog posts are just so valuable and important! (nyuk nyuk!)

Seriously, though, if you post links to articles or photos and realize later you need them again, it's way easier to find them on a blog than on Facebook.

ANYWAY - back to the weight loss!

I've actually been holding my own at around the same weight I was at the last post - 218.3 this morning.

I've been working on increasing my exercise, and making it more productive.

To which end, last week (deep breath) - I rejoined Curves for Women.

Let me explain: I actually was a member of Curves for a couple of years, till my club closed in 2008. I had the option of transferring to another location, or just quitting, and decided to quit.

"Why?" you ask. Well - because the only other club that was in a convenient location to me at the time was one that I had visited - and HATED. And had even written a nasty blog post about them (in a previous blog) burning any possible bridges to rejoining them.

So (you may have already figured this out) - last week, I rejoined - at the hated location!

"Why?" you ask, again. (Thanks for being so cooperative!)

Well, because they're still the most convenient location. And given the fact that it's been two years, my hair's a different color, and I'm using a different email address, I'm hoping no one remembers me. So far that seems to be the case. (Knock on wood!)

And the main reason I'm rejoining is not so much to lose weight, but to regain flexibility. My joints have been slowly getting more and more sore and achy the last few months, and I am 99.9% sure it's because (a) I do indeed have arthritis (my doctor confirmed that a few weeks ago) and (b) the weight I regained last year (I'd lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers) is putting added pressure on those same joints.

So - regaining flexibility, regaining muscle tone, relosing the 50 pounds (if possible) - all my current goals at the once-hated Curves!

Let's see how this all works out, shall we?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Don't Obsess About the Scales

OK, so this morning I get up, start to get dressed, then remember - it's weigh-in day!

So far I've put on my skirt and top, but nothing else (i.e., no shoes), so I figure, OK, let's do it.

I step on the scales and - WHAAA?? 218.2 pounds?? You mean I gained weight since last week? Butbutbut ...

So I step off the scales, and think (while going to the bathroom, as long as I'm there). Maybe my summer skirt and blouse actually weigh more than I thought.

So (after doing my bidness), I stand up, remove my clothes, and step on the scales again.

215.2!!

Hmm - had NO IDEA my clothes weighed three pounds! Wow, Sears makes sturdier stuff than I'd thought!

But I'd better verify it, before posting the Official Final Total.

Onto the scales again - 214.9!!

Wow! I'm losing weight just stepping on and off the scales! Who knew? Well, I guess it would be aerobic but ...

The point of this long and rather disturbingly graphic post is: DON'T OBSESS ABOUT THE SCALES!

Especially the ones you have at home, fercryinoutloud.

They'll ALWAYS mess with your head. And they do it on purpose too.

Weight loss isn't necessarily a numbers game. Because what you really want to lose is FAT. And what you want to gain is MUSCLE.

Now mind you, I'm not saying that stupid thing some well-meaning weight-loss gurus try to tell you - you know, how "muscle weighs less than fat"?

A pound of muscle weighs exactly as much of a pound of fat. Just as a pound of feathers weighs as much as a pound of iron (in case you're about to take your SATs, or a civil service exam - write it down!).

BUT - what IS true is that a pound of fat takes up less room in your bod than a pound of fat.

So if you lose a pound of fat, and gain a pound of muscle, the scales won't budge.

But those jeans you couldn't get over your hips last week just might!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Oh well - there's always NEXT week!

Sigh - gained 4 pounds this week (back up to 215.0).

Not really sure what's going on. My body feels bloated and fat. But I know I'm not really any more so than I was last week.

Some possibilities:

1) Though I've tried to exercise every day, I was only able to ride my bike one day this week. The rest of the week it was raining, so I went to 24 Hour Fitness each rainy day. I thought that would actually result in a weight loss, but apparently not.

2) I don't think I ate any more than usual. But perhaps because of the rain I was more sedentary than I thought.

Also, I had some stress during the week due to the owner of a bookstore (which shall be nameless, cough*ILIAD*cough), accused me of being "too greedy" about taking books from the books labeled (get this) "FREE BOOKS". He told me not to take more than one box. Well, I never DO take more than one box, but of course when someone decides you're guilty and tells you not to do it again, and they're the owner of the store, what else can you do but take your business elsewhere?

Which I'm doing. Yesterday I visited several cool thrift shops and underappreciated used bookstores in the San Fernando Valley, and today I puttered around yard sales and garage sales. Found some great stuff too!

Oh, didn't I mention that I sell books on Amazon? Sorry about that - here's the link, in case you want to do some shopping:

http://www.amazon.com/stores/stoogeswoman

Mention this blog when you order and I'll refund 25% of your total order upon shipping (in the form of an Amazon gift card)! Wow, whatta deal, eh?